It's been quiet a long time since I took my fingers to the keyboard, and even attempted to write a post. For a long time this blog was a place of great healing for me. I was able to let my mind loose, and just be whoever I wanted or needed to be in the moment. I could be funny, or sad, or controversial and I wasn't afraid of what anyone thought. I was writing for me, and only me. I never believe for even a second that anyone else would read it or even care.
Then life happened.... I have always been my own worst critic. I honestly can't think of a time when I didn't criticize something, or literally everything about myself. But for some reason when people started to actually read and follow my blog that self criticism only became worse. I soon began to hate looking at my computer, and I was no longer writing for me. I had decided at some point along the way that I needed to be entertaining and keep people reading. It didn't take long before I was totally burnt out, and no longer turned to writing as a since of healing or relief. Something that I had been of so much help to me for so long eventually became something I despised, and so my blog fell by the wayside.
For years, I avoided the pull I felt. Telling me to tell my story, and help others. Yes, my life has been a hot mess, but I really never thought there was anything in my life story that could ever possibly help someone else. But then life happened, and I have been presented with many ways, that I was or am able to use my past to support and help others, and the pull I had been feeling grew stronger.
Recently I decided it was time to resurrect this old blog, and start telling my story, giving advice and use my talent to reach others. I know there is a rather large possibility that I will fail, but if somewhere along the way I am able to show one person that you can walk through hell, and come out on the other side stronger then I feel like I have done what I have been pulled to do.
It will not be easy for me to open myself up to the world. To share my story, my life, and my pain. However, I am hopeful that through my own persistence I am able to show somebody that they are not alone, and they do have someone in their corner cheering them on. Even if it is a stranger from no-where-ville Oklahoma.
So today is the beginning of a new chapter and a new journey for me. I am not sure what I will write or where this will lead me, but I know that writing is what I am supposed to do.
Here goes nothing!
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