Dear Boogie ... It's been two years

Dear Boogie,
Two years ago I woke up early, believing that day, was a Tuesday like any other. I walked into your room to see you smiling, and kissed you on the forehead before leaving for work. Never did I suspect that just a few hours later, my life would be forever changed.

After work that day, I came home to once again see your smiling face. Your nurse told me all about your day, and how you were doing so great. She told me that you had been smiling and "talking" all morning, looking back now I wonder if you were conversing with the angels that were beginning to gather around you. I remember talking to you about my day, and telling you how much I missed you. I remember helping your little brother into your bed for cuddle time, and then helping him out again, as you rolled your eyes, and said "get out" you were ready for your Elmo, and wanted to watch alone... Had I only known that a few hours later you would have been gone, I would have stayed, and spent every single second possible with you.

Later that evening, we went to your brother, and sister's back to school night. You were full of smiles and laughter, as I pushed you through the hallway of their school. You enjoyed seeing all the kids, and had a blast. You looked so great, and so happy... When we got home, you wanted to lay in your bed, you were sleepy... Had I known that it would be the last time I laid you in your bed, I would have stayed with you, and never left your side...

I remember walking into your room at bedtime thinking you were asleep, I remember the terror as I realized that you were not, I remember the heartbreak of the 911 call, and I remember the complete shock of the night, but most of all I remember the very second my heart shattered into a million pieces, the night you went to be with Jesus.

I have spent two years trying to understand why. I have spent two years missing you, and wishing that I could hold you again, see your smile again, or hear your laugh just one more time. I have spent two years wishing this was all just a bad dream, and missing you more with each and every passing day. 

Two years ago my life changed in a way I wish it never had... Today my tears won't stop flowing, and my words do not come easy, but I want you to know that I love you to the moon and back, and miss you more than any words could ever begin to say.

This song's for you little man! I love you to the moon, and back!
Love mommy