Mommy Mondays ~ Home on Deranged

It is once again Monday, which of course means another amazing edition of Mommy Mondays! Today I am posting a little late, due to technical difficulties, but the good news is that I am back on line, and finally once again the proud owner of a brand new (well new to me)... LAPTOP!!! I have so missed having the luxury or a keyboard...

Anyway, back to the real reason we are all gathered here today (to introduce another awesome guest)... Today's guest is the totally rockin mom of two super precious little girls, who just so happens to also have a sense of humor, and an awesome blog to go along with it : ) Today I would like to introduce my friend Melissa from Home on Deranged once you are finished reading her great post here, I highly recommend to you scoot on over to her place, and visit awhile. You are sure to find something to make you smile, as well as some super cute pictures. Tell her that the crazy lady from Mommys Rambles sent you over.  Without further ado I now introduce Melissa

Ten ways that having kids is like being in college

As a parent, you frequently find yourself doing things that you probably never thought you would. I never thought I’d have someone put poop in my hand, but I did. And I never thought I’d willingly give up the last chocolate chip cookie, but I have.

The more I watch our girls, ages 14 months and 2½ years, the more I get an alarming sense of déjà vu. And then it hit me: having kids reminds me a whole lot of being back in college. Here’s how:

1. You eat poorly. I’ve been lucky to get to eat twice a day in the last two years, and now, I’ll eat the scraps the kids leave behind. In college, I ate lots of pizza and Fruit Loops in the cafeteria, because my mom sure never let me have access to all of it I could eat.

2. You have hangovers. I admit I did my share of partying in college, and had plenty of hangovers, even on graduation day. Now, I feel like I’m in a constant state of being hung over – bloodshot eyes, tired, can’t think straight - except that I haven’t had a drink of alcohol in four years.

3. You pull all-nighters. When I procrastinated in school, I’d have to stay up all night to write a paper, finish a project or study for a huge exam. Now, I stay up late to watch DVR’d shows, work on my blog and just wait for one of the babies to wake up and need me to sit with them for a while.

4. You spend all day in your pj’s and go without showering. Frequently in college, I would wake up with 10 minutes to get to class, so showers were out of the question, and some pajamas can pass for decent enough clothes (hello sweats!). Now, yoga pants and t-shirts are my friends, and I’ve gone up to four days without a rinse and repeat.

5. You join lots of clubs you don’t really want to. In college, the advisors told me to join clubs to enhance my resume, while my friends goaded me to join social clubs, so I could have a place to party, even if I didn’t enjoy half of them. As a parent, you join Mommy & Me groups, playdate groups, preschool groups, gymnastics groups and then the PTA. But, I’m not much of a joiner, and I don’t like to get dressed to leave the house. (See #4)

6. You clean up lots of messes, if you’re the good roommate. When you live with others, you find out how messy they are. I would wash dishes, clean bathrooms, take out the trash and more. Kids? Have you gone one day without cleaning? Didn’t think so.

7. You console sobbing people. College kids sob for lots of reasons: broken relationships, bad grades, lack of money, rejection by a sorority/fraternity, and someone has to make them feel better. Kids cry for oh. So. Many. Reasons. Lots of hugs go out.

8. You referee fights. If you spend time with two or more people, a fight will invariably break out, whether physical or verbal. If you’re the moderator, you get to play referee. If you have more than one child in your home, it’s pretty much the same.

9. You have to discuss sex. I was surprised at the number of freshmen who had no idea how all their “plumbing” worked, and were unsure how to avoid pregnancy and STDs. At least with kids, I can spread this discussion out over several years and not cram it into an all-nighter in the dorm’s community room.

10. You clean up vomit. Oh, the vomit. Whether they were drunk or just sick, vomit has to get cleaned up. And the kids? Oh, the vomit.

See? I told you it was just like being in college.

About the Author

After a career as a reporter, Melissa Swedoski thought she was well informed on the chaos of everyday life. Now, “mumbling through the mayhem of marriage and motherhood,” she is a SAHM to two toddler girls, and is turning her investigative eye on the mishaps and misadventures of parenting and the marathon that is marriage, always with the emphasis on humor and love. You can find her at HomeOnDeranged.com or follow her on Facebook at OurHomeOnDeranged.