Today I woke up way to early from a dream that was way too real. You know the kind of dream that is so incredibly real that you wake up not only mad, but in a bad mood you just can't seem to shake. After getting two moody teens off to school, I tried to escape back to my slumber in hopes of replacing said bad dream, with something a little better which would hopefully turn my day, and my mood around.
However, I couldn't sleep and so picked up my phone to surf Facebook, it wasn't long after logging in that I realized what today was. Since I have been in sort of brain dead zombie mood lately, and have not truly paid attention to the days of the week I was briefly surprised that it was already Wednesday. Then like an unwanted slap in the face, the memories came flooding back. Memories of 12 years ago, and not only what I was doing at the time I heard that America had been struck with tragedy, but memories of how different my life was... If I am honest I must admit, that a tiny bit of me longs for those days.
Although this day is a day of remembering the lives lost, and will forever be a day of sadness remembering how American's lives were shook to the very core. I also remember how very different my life was 12 years ago. How I sat there that morning an 18 year old mother of two small children, watching the tragedy American was suffering. I could never have imagined that 12 years later I myself would have been dealt more than my share of tragedy. I could have never even remotely imagined the pain that this very day would leave in my own life.
This day to me is remembered not only as the day the world stood still for so many, but also as the day that changed my life in unexplainable ways. The day I began a journey I never knew would end this way... A journey I would never change... You see for America today is a day of only tragedy but for me today is the day I found out I was no longer to be a mom of two... On this day 12 years ago, I found out I was soon to be a mom of three...
However, I couldn't sleep and so picked up my phone to surf Facebook, it wasn't long after logging in that I realized what today was. Since I have been in sort of brain dead zombie mood lately, and have not truly paid attention to the days of the week I was briefly surprised that it was already Wednesday. Then like an unwanted slap in the face, the memories came flooding back. Memories of 12 years ago, and not only what I was doing at the time I heard that America had been struck with tragedy, but memories of how different my life was... If I am honest I must admit, that a tiny bit of me longs for those days.
Although this day is a day of remembering the lives lost, and will forever be a day of sadness remembering how American's lives were shook to the very core. I also remember how very different my life was 12 years ago. How I sat there that morning an 18 year old mother of two small children, watching the tragedy American was suffering. I could never have imagined that 12 years later I myself would have been dealt more than my share of tragedy. I could have never even remotely imagined the pain that this very day would leave in my own life.
This day to me is remembered not only as the day the world stood still for so many, but also as the day that changed my life in unexplainable ways. The day I began a journey I never knew would end this way... A journey I would never change... You see for America today is a day of only tragedy but for me today is the day I found out I was no longer to be a mom of two... On this day 12 years ago, I found out I was soon to be a mom of three...
How we remember those days, in your case even more than others. I cannot even start to imagine your feelings about that, with its spectrum of emotions. I hope you manage to shake the uneasiness off and somehow manage to still enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteThank you Stephanie... It is crazy the way we all remember things different ways.
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